I was going to post this in "A Teaspoon & an Open Mind", but I suspect it will be too lengthy, so with your indulgence:
A very subtle, concise & realistic portrayal of the characters & situations as of "LoTL." One of the things that I particularly liked was portrayal of the petty harassments & tacit threats to which Tish & Jack were subjected aboard the Valiant, not just by the Master, but by other human beings. The other "Year that Wasn't" fic I've seen so far has dealt with overt types of abuse, particularly of Jack, & I believe that constant petty, subtle abuse can be just as damaging.
Speaking of the Master's human flunkies: in the episode, I could not believe that the guards would immediately join in defeating the Master after the Doctor's revival. I don't doubt that after months of atrocities ordered by the Master the human race would be cowed & hopeless, & I can certainly believe that the Master would take perverse delight in being guarded by people who hate him, but--hopeless people are capable of taking knowingly suicidal actions of minimal effect for the satisfaction of striking out at their perceived tormenters. The Master might be crazy, but he's not crazy enough to endanger the Valiant. So, in the circumstances of LoTL, I can only believe that the Master would get his human guards from amongst traitors, psychopaths & collaborators, none of whom could I believe joining the Doctor's & Co.'s coup d'etat; I can, however, believe people of those categories treating prisoners exactly as you describe in your story.
As for Jack & Tish: in LoTL, Tish had gone from a petty, shallow & self-absorbed young woman to a brave, noble & self-sacrificing heroine; your story gave a glimpse at the experiences that caused the change, & one moment in the process. Jack, of course, began & ended the series as a hero, but your story showed that the hero was, after all, human--& that being a hero is neither easy nor pleasant. The interaction between Jack & Tish was a quite beautiful illustration of how courage can consist of performing the tiniest kindness when that tiny kindness is all that is possible, & how the tiny kindnesses from one person to another is sometimes the only way that people survive.
I realize I haven't said anything original, but I had to let you know what a gem of a story you've written.
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A very subtle, concise & realistic portrayal of the characters & situations as of "LoTL." One of the things that I particularly liked was portrayal of the petty harassments & tacit threats to which Tish & Jack were subjected aboard the Valiant, not just by the Master, but by other human beings. The other "Year that Wasn't" fic I've seen so far has dealt with overt types of abuse, particularly of Jack, & I believe that constant petty, subtle abuse can be just as damaging.
Speaking of the Master's human flunkies: in the episode, I could not believe that the guards would immediately join in defeating the Master after the Doctor's revival. I don't doubt that after months of atrocities ordered by the Master the human race would be cowed & hopeless, & I can certainly believe that the Master would take perverse delight in being guarded by people who hate him, but--hopeless people are capable of taking knowingly suicidal actions of minimal effect for the satisfaction of striking out at their perceived tormenters. The Master might be crazy, but he's not crazy enough to endanger the Valiant. So, in the circumstances of LoTL, I can only believe that the Master would get his human guards from amongst traitors, psychopaths & collaborators, none of whom could I believe joining the Doctor's & Co.'s coup d'etat; I can, however, believe people of those categories treating prisoners exactly as you describe in your story.
As for Jack & Tish: in LoTL, Tish had gone from a petty, shallow & self-absorbed young woman to a brave, noble & self-sacrificing heroine; your story gave a glimpse at the experiences that caused the change, & one moment in the process. Jack, of course, began & ended the series as a hero, but your story showed that the hero was, after all, human--& that being a hero is neither easy nor pleasant. The interaction between Jack & Tish was a quite beautiful illustration of how courage can consist of performing the tiniest kindness when that tiny kindness is all that is possible, & how the tiny kindnesses from one person to another is sometimes the only way that people survive.
I realize I haven't said anything original, but I had to let you know what a gem of a story you've written.